We can never know what the future has in store for us. And it can get frustrating sometimes that we hardly have a clue about the future until we get there. This leaves many of us confused on which path to take to arrive at the future they want to have. But life unfolds itself little by little. No one can really know what their future will be (unless your a clairvoyant, perhaps?). We just have to wait and see if our decisions today will enable us to arrive at a future that we dream of having.
I graduated from college 3 years ago and in all honesty, up 'til now I am still a bit confused on which path I want to take. I feel like I have tried so many things already but nothing seems to be working for me. I am not getting any younger and I will have to settle for something really soon. But which path should I settle for? That I am still about to find out.
I remember my former boss telling me that one can never really know what they want to do in life until they have a taste of what the "real world" is all about. Real world meaning life after college - as in our life as part of the workforce. I never really believed in what he told me because I was certain that I wanted to become a doctor.
Well, not really...
I wanted to become a doctor after my parents disapproved me working at the airport for practical reasons (i.e. too far from my home and very low monthly salary). Then, I promised myself that I will try working for a while just to have some money and I will become a doctor. Unfortunately, it is not the path for me.Don't get me wrong, I did try my best to fulfill my dream of becoming a doctor. Unfortunately, my body couldn't handle the pressure. Needless to say, I was getting sick all the time and I couldn't find myself being physically and mentally capable to handle the tasks I need to accomplish.
Then, I decided to work again as a medical representative. However, I was debating whether to pursue the training or take another path because marketing isn't really my strongest point. Furthermore, I am not fond of the nature of the job (for personal reasons). So, I decided to do freelance writing until I decide what I really wanted to do with my life.
I am enjoying being a freelance writer for so many reasons. 1.) I don't have to go out of the house so that means; 2.) I don't have to spend money on transportation and food. So that means; 3.) I get to save more money and indulge in retail therapy; 4.) Nobody pressures me (no boss and no colleagues around); 5.) I can work whatever time of the day I want; 6.) I can work wherever I want as long as I can use my laptop and there is internet connection available; and, 7.) I don't experience the hassle of commuting during rush hours and when there are weather disturbances. But with all that said, it is clear that I only love my current job for its conveniences - not the nature of the job itself. There are times when I need to write about topics that I don't really know about. It is both challenging and frustrating - mostly the latter. Furthermore, working at home has become a routine. Everyday is the same and there's nothing to be excited about it. I am suddenly experiencing ennui and I badly needed some respite.
Then, as I was on my short respite, I found great joy and comfort with baking. I started with cupcakes and pastries and now, breads included. I have always wanted to put up my own business and thought this would probably be the best time to do it. I took short courses and started selling some to my mom's friends and relatives. I was so sure that this is already what I wanted to do. I have clearly thought out everything and I am determined to do everything within my powers to make this come true.
But the thing with putting up a business is, you have to be fully committed for it to become successful. Being the materialistic, worldly being that I am, I need some source of income to maintain my lifestyle. So even if I have the desire to establish a business I can never fully commit to it. I still have to continue with my writing so I can have additional income to maintain my lifestyle. I can't focus on establishing my business because I need the money I can get from my writing gig. So then, I question myself again if this is really the path that I want to take. Do I see myself being like this, writing and baking on the side, in the long run? Do I want to keep writing and forget about my business idea?
The answer, I am still searching. I envy a lot of people who, as young as they are, are already walking down the path they want to take. Some of you may be wondering why don't I just pursue Geography instead. My answer: I don't want to. I mean, I don't have any regrets taking up Geography in College. I enjoyed it a lot and I learned so much about the ordinary things we experience everyday (traffic, city planning, weather phenomena, naming rocks, etc.). I also met a lot of great people there: professors, classmates, and orgmates. But the thing is, I only took up Geography with traveling in mind. I just wanted to travel the world and become a nomad (or so I thought). I never saw myself making a career out of it. Which is why I decided to become a doctor instead (yes, it is a pre-med program). Working at the airport may be related but those are shattered dreams already and I don't want to work there anymore.
Maybe I want to be writer. Maybe I want to become a businesswoman. Maybe I can be both (why not, right?). I am hoping and praying for enlightenment!
On other news, I dedicate this post to my BFF! I promised her I will feature her here one day. These pictures were actually taken last year so, sorry friend for the late feature! :D
Happy Weekend everyone! :)