I am not one to openly talk about my relationship. I just don't feel comfortable talking about it with people - unless they ask. I try to keep my relationship as private as I can because I don't want people to interfere. The problems we go through are between us. Other people shouldn't get involved. I think this is one of the key to keeping a long term relationship. Whatever happens between us is kept only between us. We rarely share it with other people because there's only two of us in this relationship anyway. People know that we are together. People know that we've been in this relationship for a long time. People know that sometimes we are happy and sometimes we aren't. But everything else about our relationship, we keep to ourselves.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years now. Many people are already asking us when we will get married. It is quite a long time already for some people. I mean, being together for that long, it is hard to imagine that we don't hear wedding bells ringing anytime soon. But there are so many things that we both want to achieve first before we create our own family. I am not saying that I don't see him in my future because I really can't imagine my future without him. It's just that we both want to create our family when we are both financially, emotionally, and mentally prepared.
Keeping a long term relationship doesn't really have any secret. I think it is more of being committed to being in it for the long run. If you aren't committed, then there is really no point in keeping the relationship, right? Commitment to a lasting relationship is the only thing you need to keep a long term relationship. There is no magic. There are no tricks. Just your commitment to make things work.
But of course, in every relationship, there are many humps along the road. It is up to you if you want to halt in front of the hump or move forward and overcome that hump. Here is my advice to anyone who want to keep their relationships last:
Disclaimer: I am not saying I am an expert in relationships. These are just some of the things I learned throughout our 8 years together.
- Open Communication - talking is very important. This is something that I am still trying to learn until now because most of the time when we fight I'd rather keep mum. But an open communication is very important for a lasting relationship. Your partner will never understand your thoughts and feelings until you tell them about it. I can never tell if he is already pissed off with me unless he tells me (and the same goes for him). You need to be able to communicate your thoughts and emotions to your partner because this is where understanding will come from. How will your partner understand you if you don't talk to him? He can never guess what goes through your mind or what you're feeling unless you tell him (or unless he's a mind reader?).
- Honesty - don't be afraid to tell him honestly how you feel. Even if you are mad at him, it is best if he knows than not knowing at all. Do not sugar coat what you want to say. They gladly appreciate it if you tell them honestly everything. If you did something wrong, be honest about it. You will only feel guilty in the end if you don't honestly tell them about it.
- Trust - this is an issue in all relationships. This is something that you have to give in order for the relationship to work. You have to trust whatever your partner is saying. You have to trust his feelings towards you. You have to trust everything about him. I guess this is one of the hardest things to give and earn in a relationship but is mandatory if you want to have a lasting relationship.
[Top: Dorothy Perkins | Inner Tank, Heels and Maxi Skirt: Forever 21
Silver Necklace: Thomas Sabo]
- Respect - respect is also an issue with all relationships. You have to respect everything about your partner. His ideals, beliefs, traditions, friends, family - his whole being. But before you get into any relationship, make sure that you're partner is worth of your respect and that he respects you as well. I believe respect is something that you should work hard for to earn. People won't deliberately just give it to you. You have to show them that you are worthy of their respect. Dress appropriately, talk appropriately, and act appropriately; and then, you will have the respect of your partner. If your partner doesn't respect you as a person or you don't think you can give that respect to your partner, don't enter the relationship. It will only be a burden for both of you.
- Privacy and Time for Self - I think privacy is still very important when you are in a relationship. Though both of you are together in a relationship, there are certain things that you need to do and keep for yourself. For example, your goals and dreams for yourself. This is something that you can never share with anyone. This is something that you will want to do for yourself. Your partner has to understand that there are some things that you need to do for yourself. You need a partner who can support you in reaching your dreams and goals in life - not a partner who will drag you down if he doesn't agree with your plans.
I may be missing more advises so if you have one, please feel free to place it in the comment box.
I am very happy with my relationship. We have been through a lot and I can say that our bond is stronger than ever. Though there are occasional bumps along the road, we manage to move forward and overcome it. It is just a matter of committing to making the relationship last plus all the other things I mentioned above. With that, I believe you can be in the happiest lasting relationship you will ever be.
Hope everyone enjoyed their Valentine's Day! Have a blessed week ahead. :)