Saturday, December 27, 2014

Marriage and Motherhood


Not to worry as I am not pregnant. I don't have any plans on becoming a mother anytime soon. But I do have friends who are and I could not be any more prouder. We just have different goals and different paths in life. I am already 26 and people have been telling me I should get married soon and start my own family. On top of that, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 9 years now that everyone just expects us to tie the knot really soon. 2015? 2016? 2017? Who knows? As far as I am concerned, I am not ready to be tied down just yet and enter the mysterious world of motherhood.

One day, one of my colleagues called me an "expired cake." According to him, people in Japan marry at an early age and 25 is like their deadline. I am 26 - one year expired in their culture. Most of my friends and classmates back in high school are either married with 1 or more children, or single mothers. The pressure in my environment is building up for me to follow suit and become a mother/wife as well. But I am not really the type of person to be easily influenced by peer pressure. I have a strong sense of my goals and principles in life and motherhood/becoming a wife is not in it - for now. I am happy to be the godmother of their cute little babies but to have one of my own is not really a priority for me. I don't care if I am already expired in Japan's culture. I value myself and my goals more than what other people say. Honestly, I am the type of person who doesn't care about what other people think. I just do what I want so long as I know I am not doing anything against the law.

It is a bit exasperating sometimes when people force a certain opinion on you. Whenever people tell me that I should get married soon and have a baby I always tell them I am not ready. I will never get into a situation when I am not prepared emotionally, financially, and mentally - unless it is an "accident" that by some ill-fate was bestowed upon me. I am not very spontaneous nor am I a risk-taker. Things like marriage and motherhood are no joke. It is your life you will have to give up. And right now I feel I am not ready to give that up. 

There are so many things I want to do first before I can say I am ready for marriage and motherhood. I don't have a deadline like some people do because that will only make me anxious. I want to take my time until I feel that I am ready. You'll never really know when you are but until I can say that I am stable enough - financially, emotionally, and mentally - I will refuse to give in to people's opinions. I don't care if I am 1, 2 , 5 years past the expiration date. I will live my life the way I want to before I decide to get married and have a baby.

 Pullover: H&M | Skirt: Forever 21 | Sandals: Asos
Necklace: American Eagle | Bag: Aldo | Watch: Swatch



20 comments :

  1. Oh my! I never thought you are 26 Jenn! You look really really young! and pretty! I always thought you are in the very early twenties. awww can imagine your thoughts...people will always have their thoughts and opinions as well but I agree with you. Marriage isn't something that you should go just because you are on the right age. It is something that needs careful and thorough analysis. Go for your decisions Jenn, don't let others tell you what to do. So proud of how brave you are! Go lang I don't believe you are on the expiration date or whatever, I don't believe in such a thing. As long as you are happy go lang dear! I support you on your decision! :) btw, Merry Christmas Jenn! <3

    love lots,
    Tin

    mypoeticisolation.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hahaha! I know, some people even think I am still 20. Thanks for the compliment. I don't believe in expiration dates as well. You'll just feel it when you are ready. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!

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  2. Cute outfit! I totally agree I dont care if I get married later than 25 years old I want to enjoy my youth and prepare for my future family.
    http://steph-g.blogspot.com/

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    1. Similar! I want to enjoy my life as an individual before I get into marriage. I want to say I've lived a good life before I share it with someone else.

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  3. nice skirt :)

    http://itsmetijana.blogspot.com/

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  4. Getting married and entering the lifetime commitment is such a huge responsibility. Well, people should not marry just because "the expiration date" will come sooner but because they are ready and more than willing to enter that life. Anyways, happy holidays, Jenn! :)


    The Girl Behind the Pen

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    1. I agree. It is a lifetime commitment that you can't just give up your present life just because people are telling you to. It is a decision that only you can make - not other people.

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  5. You look so cute :)

    http://maramasplace.blogspot.com/

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  6. It's nice reading your post knowing that you stand firm with your beliefs. You're right, marriage or motherhood is something you get yourself into when you're ready. I salute women like you. Let me guess, you are career oriented am I right?

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    1. I am. I want to make a career and a name for myself before I decide to share my life with someone else. Thank you!

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  7. First of all, love what you're wearing and that bag is just so fab! :D

    I'm 25 and it's actually my family who keeps bugging me and asking me when I'd get married and how my parents would love to have their first grand child soon. Just because me and my boyfriend choose not to get into that just yet doesn't mean we're not in love. Just like you, both of us would want to have things done in our lives first plus we're at the peak of our career pa! It's not a bad thing that us, the younger generations, are marrying later because it means that we're mature enough to realize that there is more to marriage than just love and sparkles and fancy gowns. :)


    xoxo,
    Gelleesh.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I agree with you. We just know what we want for ourselves before we get married. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and currently, with the law of the Philippines, getting out of it can be very cumbersome. You need to be prepared mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially before you get yourself into marriage. And yes, just because you're not married does not mean you're not in-love. Love should not equate to marriage, should it?

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  8. Beautiful!!!

    http://purevetrakitchen.blogspot.pt/

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  9. OMG,I can relate with this.
    and I do agree with you that we need to be prepared our self before decide to enter marriage life.

    nice blog ^^.

    http://kireinoclouds2.blogspot.com/

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    Replies
    1. I guess many people in our generation can relate to this. Oh the pressure of society! I hate it! Haha!

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